Post # 4 Wild Willy's, Watertown, MA

Wild Willy’s

46 Arsenal Street

Watertown, MA 02472

www.wildwillysburgers.com

As Scott and I negotiate his return to Happy Burger (see post # 3) riding shotgun again this week is my son Spencer. That being the case, I picked a place a boy can appreciate: Wild Willy’s in Watertown.

The Watertown outpost of Wild Willy's

Wild Willy’s is a chain, and while restaurant chains can conjure negative connotations, many of today’s burger chains (and there are a lot of them) serve decent products. UBurger, Five Guys, B Good, Tasty Burger, Shake Shack…they all demand respect, and not just for focusing unapologetically on the craft of burger making.

A couple of years ago, my wife--who over our quarter century together has developed an if-you-can't-beat-'em,-eat-'em, attitude about burgers--accompanied me to a new Uburger promoting its Grand Opening with a free burger giveaway. The giveaway seemed like a brilliant idea to me, and to about a million others, too. Before setting foot in the place, Alicia and I waited in line for 45 minutes in a driving rainstorm among all the other drowned-rat cheapskates, and if that wasn't indignity enough, a WBZ camera crew filmed us for a segment on the evening's news. Yet, after getting inside and eating the burgers, I had to admit that the soggy, demoralizing experience was worth it. Right then I realized that the burgers from these chains are nothing to turn your nose up at...and that there's little I won't do for a free one.

Wild Willy’s has six locations sprinkled throughout Massachusetts, New Hampshire and Maine. It is a ride 'em cowboy, western-themed chain, which is kind of hokey and has nothing to do with burgers, but whatevs. At the Watertown "outpost", as the company affectionately refers to them, a stagecoach doubles as a condiment stand and a mural of a prairie with cows trudging through it graces the back wall. Continuing on the theme, the burgers have names like The Annie Oakley, The Mustang, The Stampede and The Wrangler. You get the picture.

Wild Willy's cowpoke interior

The burgers at Wild Willy’s are of good size, 6 ounces apiece, and you can choose among three types of beef: Certified Angus, All Natural from Pinefield Farms and Tender Bison. The patties are hand-formed daily, seasoned with salt and pepper and charbroiled. Hoping to repeat my Killer Bee experience from the Boston Burger Company (see post # 1) I decided on the Certified Angus Bubba Burger, which is constructed with a similar list of toppings: cheese, hickory-smoked bacon, onions, pickles and BBQ sauce. After ordering at the front counter, my pard'ner and I moseyed over to a table by the prairie landscape, hunkered down and prepared to put on the ol' feedbag. I almost wished I'd brought along a harmonica to blow wistful tunes on as we waited.

When our grub arrived, the burgers were wrapped "to-go" style in foiled paper. I don't know why a burger would be wrapped to go when it's to be eaten inside. I would think that naked on a beat up tin plate would have been more apropos for Wild Willy's.

Wild Willy's Bubba Burger. The photo doesn't do it justice.

After getting the wrapping off and cutting the burger in half, I was pleasantly surprised to see that the meat was cooked “on the way to medium," as ordered. I ate the first half so fast I was concerned I wouldn’t feel full after finishing the second, so I slowed down. By last bite I felt a nice bloat coming on and was ready to douse the campfire and undo the bed roll.

While the burger was not up to the culinary level of the Killer Bee, it made for a fine eating experience. Let me explain it this way: regarding an entirely different subject it's been said by men worldwide that there's no such thing as a bad one. If the same is true for burgers, then although this one didn't blow me away, it didn't suck either.

Score: 8 out of 10 napkins

Post # 3 Charlie's Kitchen, Cambridge, MA

Charlie’s Kitchen

10 Eliot Street

Cambridge, MA 02138

www.charlieskitchen.com

A couple of weeks were skipped between Happy Burger’s trip to Deluxe Town Diner (see Post # 2) and the next outing to Charlie’s Kitchen in Harvard Square. That’s because I was involved in an unanticipated ten day food cleanse orchestrated by my wife Alicia, who anticipated a cleanse for herself and lobbied stridently for company. She suggested I’d feel guilty eating burgers as she enjoyed a healthy detox, and while I tried hard to convince her I could handle any potential guilt, she was far more convincing in telling me I could not. Long story short, I joined her in what she described as, “a fun little adventure we both can share.” 

For a week and a half we subsisted on flax seed shakes, nuts, raw vegetables, six ounce allotments of fish or chicken and water by the gallon. No processed food, no gluten, no dairy, no sugar, no caffeine, no alcohol.

NO BURGERS.

NO FUN.

A morning flax seed shake in the making. Yum!

Midafternoon snack. De-Lish!

By day five I was jonesing for some real food and began combing restaurant websites for Scott's and my next burger outing. When kale smoothies are positioned as "an exciting change of pace," perusing pictures of bacon burgers draped in drippy cheese might seem masochistic, but it helped remind me of what awaited at the end of the tunnel. With a few days left in the cleanse, I called Scott and we made a plan to head to Charlie’s Kitchen in Cambridge that coming Sunday, the day after Alicia's and my “fun little adventure we both can share" would be over.

On Saturday I texted Scott, and that’s when something curious happened. Scott, who is never without his phone and always up for anything, went AWOL on me. I texted two more times Saturday night and again on Sunday morning reminding him of our outing, but he didn't reply.

Needless to say, I went without him, as a good burger waits for no man.

I remember Charlie’s Kitchen from when Alicia and I moved to Boston in 1990 before we got married. She was not as into burgers as I was, so I’d hop the T and go to Charlie’s alone for their famous Double Cheese. It sounds sad and lonely, but three years later we got hitched and now have awesome seventeen year old boy/girl twins, so no need to feel overly sorry for me. Especially when one of the twins is seriously into burgers. For this trip I replaced Scott with my son Spencer.

Twin number one (sequentially speaking)

On Eliot Street, on the back side of Harvard Square, with a triumphant sign on its two story façade proclaiming “The Double Cheese Burger King,” you’ll find the refreshingly divey Charlie’s Kitchen. Charlie's has been a Harvard Square institution for over six decades and is one of the area's last remaining haunts from yesteryear. It's a place where bikers and professors chat with equal zeal about Harleys, homers and Homer while downing beers and burgers...all while being served by Helen Metros, the Grand Dame of waitressing who has worked the booths for 53 years.

Charlie’s has two floors. The downstairs room is typically dineresque, while upstairs is more bar-like. There’s also a deck out back where the college kids hang, and a few tables out front by the sidewalk where in good weather just about everybody likes to be. On the sunny Saturday Spencer and I showed up, the sidewalk tables were packed so we sat upstairs at a table by a TV set. After placing orders with an impressively tattooed waitress decades younger than Helen, we watched the Red Sox stumble through an inning until the food arrived. It should be no surprise what I ordered. Charlie's is the Double Cheese Burger King after all.

Charlie’s doesn’t try too hard, and that’s part of its charm. The burgers aren't over-engineered or given cute names or made into things they are not. The patties are thin and greasy (made of 80% preformed Certified Angus) and the bun is like what you'd buy in an eight pack at Stop and Shop... but the good kind with sesame seeds. All of which is fine by me if my mood is right. My only complaint is that the patties are so small and thin that the bun dwarfs them. One look and you realize why Charlie’s is the Double Cheese Burger King. One burger just isn’t enough to bring the burger-to-bun ratio up to respectability.

Charlie's Double Cheese

That being said, when you know what you’re in for, Charlie’s is a fine place for a hamburger. Spencer ordered his burger dry of condiments and piled high with bacon and loved it. I knew he would, as what kid doesn't like a pre-formed patty on a doughy white bread roll? I topped mine with ketchup, mustard, lettuce, sliced tomato and two fried onion rings swiped from Spencer’s plate during another Clay Buchholz walk. Though not as nap-worthy as the bigger, beefier, more creative efforts from the Boston Burger Company (see Post # 1) and Deluxe Town Diner, my burger was indeed a tasty morsel, especially compared to ten days of flax seed shakes. The price was right, too. Even with Spencer’s huge vanilla frappe the bill was under twenty dollars.

The next time I'm strapped for cash or feel like rubbing elbows with bikers, professors or Helen, I’ll be back to Charlie's for another no-nonsense burger from yesteryear.

Score: 7.25 out of 10 napkins

Post # 2 Deluxe Town Diner, Watertown, MA

Deluxe Town Diner

627 Mount Auburn St.

Watertown, MA 02472

www.deluxetowndiner.com

A neat thing about burgers is how much they vary from place to place. Even when ordering the same type of burger, each restaurant puts its own unique spin on it. The beef and beef-to-fat ratios vary, the seasonings vary, the buns vary, the cooking techniques vary, even the brands of condiments vary. The focus of this week's post, Deluxe Town Diner, uses Hunts ketchup. Call me a condiment snob, but what's wrong with Heinz?

Another great thing about burgers is you can stumble upon a good one just about anywhere, be it dive bar, seafood shack or white tablecloth eatery.

Deluxe isn’t a dive bar or fancy eatery; it's just a good old-fashioned diner that’s been a Watertown institution since 1947. With its two-tone porcelain siding and rounded, glass-block corners, this vintage Worcester Lunch Car Co. building is a slice of Americana for sure. As proof, it is listed on the National Register of Historic Places.

Deluxe Town Diner: A certified classic
Photo Copyright (C) 2000,2001,2002 Free Software Foundation

There are people who love diners and people who fail to see their majesty. No doubt, diners can be loud, cramped and quick-paced. The waitresses are often surly and the patrons overly colorful. And those are just a few reasons to love them. Not to mention the nostalgia invoked when perusing a plastic-matted menu from a corner booth, or seeing a kid half-turn on a wobbly counter stool between sips of a frappe.

But never mind all that. What’s important is Deluxe is said to offer a pretty decent burger, which prompted me to pick it for our second outing. And nostalgia aside, upon reading the prices you're quickly returned to the 21^st century, as the burgers start at around ten bucks.

Scott and I ordered almost the same burger: cheddar, bacon, lettuce and tomato. He asked for raw onions on his; I requested caramelized onions on mine. Deluxe Town Diner caramelizes their onions in granulated sugar and butter, and while they taste great, they make for a slippery, sloppy burger. I can’t hold the diner accountable for my burger being sloppy though; it is a fait accompli with caramelized onions.

When the burgers were served, they looked beautiful on their plates. The cheese was melted perfectly around the patties, the bacon was stacked high and the brioche buns glistened invitingly. A small, white paper cup full of slaw accompanied them, as did a lethal dose of skinny, skin-on fries.

Deluxe Town Diner's  awesome looking burger

Upon first bite we thought we were in heaven. The burgers were juicy and delicious, the bacon smokey and flavorful. But things began to go awry about halfway through, as the burgers started to lose their flavor. Scott theorized that his medium rare burger had kept cooking on the plate. I'm not sure about that, but it did seem as though the juices of each burger began to congeal, making the meat more dense and less flavorful.

Not quite as detrimental, but still an issue, the lettuce and tomato slices were served at room temperature. Many years ago, a fast food chain that will remain nameless promoted a container that "keeps the hot side hot and cool side cool." I never ate a burger from one of those containers, but the concept is sound. Cool ripe tomatoes and crisp chilled lettuce add layers of complexity that these burgers didn't have.

After the juices had congealed and the lettuce and tomato continued to warm under the bun, the burgers lost their initial mouth appeal. And that's when we discovered that the bottom buns seemed to disappear. It wasn't that they disintegrated from excess moisture as much as having been too small to begin with, which is unusual because the top bun was almost too big. So, yeah, the bun to patty ratio was ascew; or more accurately, the bun to bun ratio.

Scott wondering what happened to his awesome burger

This review sounds worse than the burgers actually were. No doubt a lot of care went into making them and they started off great. I know people who rave about Deluxe Town Diner's burgers, and I've had burgers there myself that were delicious. But, just as burgers vary from place to place, they can also vary from day to day from the same place. Next time, I hope to have a burger as delicious as the ones I remember, and I'll remember to bring my own packets of Heinz.

Score: 7.5 out of 10 napkins

Post # 1 Boston Burger Company, Somerville, MA

Boston Burger Company
37 Davis Sq.
Somerville, MA 02144
www.bostonburgerco.com

After searching the web for contenders, I decided on The Boston Burger Company (BBC) for our maiden voyage. The place has been featured on Diners, Drive-ins and Dives, and one of its burgers (The Mac Attack) was named Second Best Burger in the Country in a Triple D Best Burger contest. It seemed like a logical place to start.

Boston Burger Company, in the heart of Davis Square.

If the accolades from Triple D weren't enough, BBC's own website shows their seriousness about burgers. A picture of each succulent offering is displayed proudly along with a loving description of its construction, leaving the web viewer with gluttonous fantasies and a serious call to action. Some of the burgers are straight up, while others are quite far out. For example, the 420 burger is topped with American cheese, bacon, BBQ sauce, mozzarella sticks, onion rings, French fries and mac and cheese. I’m determined to expand my comfort zone, but the 420 burger might be too much of a stretch. Just as I don’t appreciate highfalutin caviar burgers (see introduction), I have little patience for burgers that are over-engineered. It’s like dressing a poodle in scarf and booties. A poodle is a dog, not a Barbie Doll. Let him have his dignity.

That’s not to say Scott and I won’t give the 420 a try sometime. Perhaps next April 20^th, when we're apt to follow it with a pint or two of Ben and Jerry’s Everythingbutthe.

Me left, Scott right. Please don't confuse the two.

Boston Burger Company has two locations: in Davis Square in Somerville, and in Boston’s Back Bay. According to Owner/Partner Paul Malvone, each location goes through about 1200 pounds of beef per week. We chose the Davis Square location because it was the first established.

Not to jump ahead of my reportage, but after eating one of the burgers we selected at Boston Burger Company I felt like Scott and I might have found Nirvana too soon, as the eating experience rivaled the food fantasizes I'd conjured while browsing their website.

We sampled two burgers: The King, named in honor of Elvis Presley’s notorious culinary proclivities, (topped with banana, peanut butter and bacon, of course) and The Killer Bee, featuring American cheese, bacon, honey BBQ sauce and a four inch tower of beer battered onion rings. I was skeptical of the Killer Bee, as I do not appreciate burgers that fall apart when eaten, and this monster looked to have serious disintegration potential.

Boston Burger Company's The Killer Bee

As it turned out, I had nothing to fear with The Killer Bee. Ordered “medium rare, but on the way to medium,” the certified Angus 80/20 patty, which was machine-formed on premises, was flat-griddled, giving it a nice bark on the outside while keeping the meat pink and juicy inside. The burger was of good size, probably five or six ounces, and well proportioned to the Piantedosi Bread Shop bun. True, with the stack of onion rings on there, it looked over-engineered, like those architecturally impressive desserts made popular a decade ago, when bakers were interested in creating visual works of art over culinary masterpieces; but after squashing the top bun down against the onion rings the Killer Bee held together nicely throughout the eating experience. I always cut larger burgers in half, and while some consider this sacrilege, I do it as a way to keep them manageable. After cutting The Killer Bee in two, Scott immediately cut his offering in half too, and looked at me expectantly. He had ordered The King, and upon seeing the two burgers side-by-side quickly surmised that fried onion rings and BBQ sauce on a burger beat bananas and peanut butter any day.

As stated in the intro, if a guilt-free, euphoric, coma-like sensation comes over me after eating a burger I know I've had a truly great burger. And this is exactly how I felt after finishing my half of the Killer Bee. I could hardly wait to wash my hands, get chauffeured home, turn the golf channel on low and take a well-deserved snooze on the couch. Admittedly, these sensations are unscientific measuring sticks, but who needs science when chowing burgers? It's all about taste and feel, and this burger tasted delicious and made me feel great. Suffice it to say that eating The Killer Bee was flat out an awesome burger eating experience.

As for The King, if ordered for dessert I’d say it was okay. As a main course, it was hard to take seriously, like those booty wearing poodles are. Ordered medium rare, it came out dry and gray, and afterwards I felt kind of gross, as if I’d consumed a gigantic, meat-infused peanut butter cup. No wonder Elvis shot out all those TV screens late in life. After eating peanut butter and banana sandwiches all day he realized he could have had an awesome burger and became frustrated.

All in all, The Boston Burger Company was a great first outing. We look forward to going back, and not only for Triple D's award-winning Mac Attack burger. Many others on the menu sound intriguing as well. They've got one called the Artery Clogger that I'm sure is to die for.

Scores: The Killer Bee - 9 out of 10 napkins. The King - 2 out of 10 napkins 

Happy Burger Introduction

Welcome to Happy Burger...
one man’s search for the best burgers in Boston. Actually, it’s a two man search, as I’ve recruited my friend Scott to join me, mostly because he has a nice car and doesn’t mind driving. On this blog we might touch upon a restaurant’s ambiance, or critique table service if we feel it necessary, but mostly we’ll focus on how delicious we find each burger, and rate them against each other as we see fit.

There is a lot to consider when evaluating burgers, and I don't have hard and fast rules as to what makes a burger great. But I do know that if my stomach becomes happily bloated, my mind is euphoric while remaining guilt-free, my fingers smell of grease and ketchup, and I want to take a nap, I've eaten a really awesome burger.

Admittedly, finding the “Best Burgers in Boston” is a subjective pursuit, and this is another reason to bring Scott along. Having a contrary point of view might add to the comprehensiveness of the blog. But frankly, I’m not convinced Scott will bring a contrary opinion, as he’s pretty agreeable. For instance, if I say, “Scott, let’s have a beer,” he’ll reply “Great idea!” Which is yet another reason to bring him along.

Scott left, me right. Please don't confuse the two.

Scott and I agree that a bigger burger isn’t always a better burger, and a better grade of meat won't guarantee a better grade from us. We also agree that a burger shouldn’t be made into something it isn’t. The idea of topping a burger with, say, caviar, seems ridiculous to us. We’re talking burgers here, not salmon mousse terrines, so let them be burgers. There is no use trying to make a silk purse from a cow’s ear. Putting caviar on a burger is like putting tricked out wheel rims on a Ford Pinto. It’s just plain silly.

Scott and I also agree that some of the best burgers might be found in dive bars or ubiquitous burger chains or take-out stands rather than more upscale establishments. The Menemsha Galley, on Martha’s Vineyard, comes to mind as a take-out joint that serves a great burger. The Galley isn’t in the Boston area, but it deserves a shout out for serving consistently memorable burgers summer after summer. Considering that The Galley is located on Martha’s Vineyard, I assume the meat is from spoon-fed cows or something; but whatever...eating a Galley burger is an awesome burger-eating experience.

Just as there are many opinions as to what makes a burger great, there are as many ways to top a burger. I am a traditionalist when it comes to accouterments. When serving burgers for the family, I top mine with cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomato, ketchup, mustard and pickles. My wife is partial to turkey burgers with thin-sliced raw red onion. My daughter likes plain hamburgers with a dollop of ketchup on the side for dipping, and my son likes lettuce, tomato and bacon but eschews all other condiments. For this blog, I hope to branch out of my personal comfort zone, as a good burger joint can make a guy do that.

So, without further ado, let's go eat some burgers.