Post #8 JM Curley, Boston, MA

JM Curley
21 Temple Place
Boston, MA 02111
jmcurleyboston.com

The facade of JM Curley, in the Downtown Crossing section of Boston, looks like a setting from a Ben Afleck mob movie. It is austere and eerie, to a point where being gunned down on the sidewalk seems entirely plausible. Inside, the vibe is less dodgy, but only slightly. On the afternoon I was there, Jay Z was in a foul mood on the box and PBR was served in cans. A handful of urban denizens lingered at scattered tables and a miasma of the previous night's debauchery clung to everything. 

A storefront you wouldn't want to linger in front of.

I sat at the bar nursing a beer while waiting for Scott. He was a half hour late and I wondered if he had tired of being fodder for Happy Burger. I hoped not, as his unexpected antics make these posts easy to write. I called his cell and hung up when I got his voice mail. Just as I was about to order, he barged through the door wearing a fake cop's hat with attached dreadlocks.

"No worries, mon...I'm here!"

Okay, it was Halloween, but I didn't expect it; and just like that two paragraphs were written.

Similar to Happy Burger, JM Curley doesn't take itself too seriously. Reading the house rules on a chalk board above the bar had told me so:

NO COVETING THY NEIGHBOR'S DRINK

NO SHRIEKING OR BELLOWING

NO GROPING OR GRAB ASSING

NO FOUL LANGUAGE

Scott took a seat at the bar, pointed to the chalk board, and bellowed: "WHAT'S WITH THE FUCKING SIGN?" He then eyed my beer thirstily while waiting for his own to arrive. 

The girl behind the bar wore a powder blue mini dress with bobby socks and patent leather shoes. A clip in her hair kept her locks pulled to the side. An identical outfit was worn by one of the waitresses, and later we'd learn they were dressed as the Grady twins from the movie The Shining. Rastafarian Peace Officer Scott took an immediate shine to the bartender. After receiving his beer, he tipped his cop's hat her way and asked if she had a thing for men in uniform. I braced for a grab assing.

Curley's is a casual place, but our research had shown them to be serious about their house burger, which is topped with griddled onions, cheddar, Pop's Russian dressing and pickles. A 5 ounce version is served at lunch, a 9 ouncer at dinner. Either way, the research proved correct as ounce for ounce these burgers are delicious. At the risk of ruining the suspense, the lunch burgers we ate during our first visit rivaled any we've had. The burger was so good, we ordered a second after finishing the first, and we haven't stopped thinking about either.

Curley's amazingly delicious house burger

Discussing the merits of the first burger, Nicole the bartender said it was the combination of homemade Russian dressing and homemade pickles that set it apart from others. Scott thought the generously salted and peppered patty was the key. I liked the burger's unpretentious, simple construction. Served on the incomparable Piantedosi roll, it arrived on a tin plate with a big glob of spicy slaw next to it. The burger itself carried some heat, but like the slaw it wasn't over-spiced. It just had an unexpected bite to it. Like Scott.

Nicole asked if we wanted the second burger "Filthy Andy" style, which meant topped with slaw and fries. Smothering that near perfect burger with French fries seemed silly, but we did add some of the spicy slaw when the plates arrived. After first bite, Scott pounded his fist on the bar and shrieked, "HOLY SHIT, NICOLE, THAT'S A MOTHER FUCKING AWESOME BURGER!" 

The last rule on the chalk board above the bar at JM Curley states, "JUST DON'T BE A DOUCHEBAG." Perhaps they have a liberal definition, because after hearing Scott's praise, Grady twin Nicole poured the three of us a shot on the house. 

I was pretty sure she wouldn't get the ax for it.

Score: 9.3 out of 10 napkins.

Post # 7 Shaw's Fish & Lobster Wharf Restaurant

After eating several awesome burgers this summer while travelling, I realize that writing about only Boston burgers is unfair to the other great burgers out there. Therefore, we'll sprinkle in some out-of-town spots where the burgers rival the best we’ve discussed. If these hidden gems are already favorites, you might feel a certain in-the-know pride as we sing their praises, sort of like how I feel when a much loved deep cut comes on my favorite radio station at the bottom of the dial.

Shaw's Fish & Lobster Wharf Restaurant
129 Maine 32
Bristol, ME 04554
207 677 2200

One time years ago I said this about my buddy Scott: “We joke around a lot, but we also talk seriously about our problems. And what I like most about Scott is, when listening to his problems I realize how small mine are.”

I said this at a time when drama followed Scott like a faithful puppy. But his fortunes have turned and we now talk mostly about burgers. Like the one I had at Shaw’s Fish & Lobster Wharf Restaurant, in Bristol, Maine. 

Earlier this summer, as Scott’s new and beautiful and extraordinarily wealthy girlfriend prepared to leave for yet another international vacation without him, she asked which of her two summer homes (the lake house or the coast house) he'd like to hang at while she was gone. He picked the coast house, and asked me along.

The beautiful and extraordinary coast house

We'd been exploring the Booth Bay region all morning when we came upon Shaw’s on Round Pond in Bristol. Shaw’s isn’t much to look at from the outside, but once you climb the side stairs to the back porch you’re treated to a view that’s quintessentially Maine. Lobster boats, skiffs and Boston Whalers undulate in a quiet cove while gulls hover over fishing enterprises along the jagged coast.

The view from Shaw's back porch

As you might expect, Shaw’s Fish & Lobster Wharf Restaurant is a Restaurant on a Wharf that features Fish and Lobster. And that, to me, is a good reason to try their burger, as good seafood shacks often make great burgers. Scott saw it differently, and even when threatened with a second banishment from Happy Burger (see post # 3) he ordered a lobster. Well, he missed out, as this was the best burger I’d had since Happy Burger's inception.

Scott, happily burying his head in yet another clam

The patty is a full 6 ounces of preformed 80/20 chuck. It is char-grilled, and while I usually prefer a flat griddled burger (the escaped juices sear back into the meat to create a more flavorful bark) the bark on this burger was well worth the bite. Curiously, the sesame seed bun is, in fact, flat griddled, and it too is delicious. 

Pardon the half eaten burger. I couldn't wait.

What separates Shaw’s burger from others is the attention to seasonings. Before being cooked the patty is sprinkled liberally with Monterrey steak flavoring. During cooking it is painted (quite literally with a house paintbrush) with melted garlic butter containing four additional seasonings. I asked the chef what they were but he wouldn't budge. Apparently, it's a secret as closely guarded as Col. Sander's. But that's all well and good, as a bit of mystery adds flavor to any relationship.

This is a truly outstanding burger. Coupled with the view from the back porch and a coast house to return to, it's hard to beat.

Score: 9 out of 10 napkins

Post # 6 Lee's Burgers Place, Newton, MA

Lee's Burgers Place
216 Summer Street
Newton, MA 02459
www.leesburgers.com

On our way over to Lee's, Scott and I got lost in Watertown. It was a beautiful day and Scott was driving his son's sweet new jeep with the top down. We didn't Google Map it. We just sniffed our way toward the burgers while discussing various topics of the day...one of which was the irony of a father having to ask his son's permission to borrow a jeep the father paid for. It was a half hour before we found Lee's, and by then Scott didn't want to talk anymore.

The original Lee's Burgers was in Harvard Square, but high rents forced a move to Newton Center. There was also an original Lee, as in, a guy named Lee, who owned it. His wife and a slew of family helped run it, making it a happy place with a Mom and Pop feel. A couple of years after moving to Newton, Lee sold it, and now the only relation involved is a nephew. It's still a happy place though, and still Mom and Pop-ish.

The nephew of the original Lee, cooking burgers

Lee's is funky, as in down-to-earth and laid back as opposed to armpitty or Grand Master Flashy. It's a tiny spot, seating only 14 people, with mint green walls and a very friendly staff. The girl who took our order was young and good looking and the most friendly of all the friendly people there. Having a good looking girl take your order won't make your burger taste better, but it doesn't hurt. As we ate, she came over and commented on the sweet ride we'd pulled up in. Scott thanked her, then thanked her again. When he thanked her a third time I felt compelled to mention he'd needed his son's permission to borrow it. She thought this was funny. He, not so much.

Scott, the laid back, jeep-drivin' stud

Lee's serves other items, but the focus is burgers, which start at $ 4.99 and include lettuce, tomato, onions and pickles. Other add-ons are extra, but not a lot extra. It's "cheap eats" as Scott likes to say, and a great burger for the money. The patties are six ounces of flame-grilled, pre-formed 100% ground sirloin, served on a perfectly adequate, toasted, sesame seed bun. Restaurants take pride in using sirloin over chuck because of its higher quality; but higher quality means less fat, and fat equals flavor. Lee's compensates by offering a special sauce, a concoction of mayo, mustard, honey and spices that's well known among area burger aficionados. No question the sauce is great, it's even good on the killer onion rings, but Scott and I agreed that Lee's relies on it too heavily for the burger's flavor. Even slathered on, we felt something was missing. Perhaps Mr. Lee took the salt shaker with him when he sold the place. 

Lee's bacon cheeseburger with special sauce

Back in the jeep, Scott summed it up in his own unique way. "I can still taste that delicious ingredient that was missing from my burger," he mused, looking longingly through the restaurant's window.

Knowing exactly what he meant tells me we hang out too much.

Score: 8.25 napkins out of 10.

Post # 5 R.F. O'Sullivan & Son, Somerville, MA

R.F. O’Sullivan & Son

282 Beacon Street

Somerville, MA 02431

www.rf-osullivan.com

When I evaluate a burger, subconscious factors no doubt influence my evaluation. For example, if I drive off to yet another burger joint and my wife yells from the porch, “I thought you were raking leaves today!” my burger will likely taste less delicious than if she’d said, “Have a great adventure, Burgerman!”

Keeping this in mind, I try not to be overly critical in this blog. Burger greatness is a personal assessment. Yet, when a certain restaurant is continually praised by critics, the general public usually falls in line. Which brings us to R. F. O’Sullivan & Son, one of the most press-covered and praised burger joints in the Boston area. So much attention has gone O’Sullivan’s way, people show up these days just to see what all the talking is about. What’s curious about O’Sullivan's is, while there are many backers, there are also detractors, and everybody with an opinion is convinced his is the right one. Including moi.

The stately exterior of R.F. O'Sullivan & Son

On the Sunday Scott and I tried O’Sullivan's, the restaurant had been featured on The Phantom Gourmet that very morning. By the time we arrived, throngs of salivating carnivores were charging the entrance like lemmings toward a cliff. Pulling to the curb, we saw Richard Sullivan, the owner, out front on the sidewalk, smiling. And why wouldn’t he be? Free advertising had once again blessed his little establishment, and the faithful were flocking as if to Mecca.

Before heading inside, I asked Richard about his well known refusal to squash his burgers with a spatula during cooking. He replied, in effect, that squashing is akin to blasphemy. As if to dare people to question this belief, he also defiantly forms his patties the size and shape of softballs.

O'Sullivan's Cheddar and Onion Sauce Burger

I understand the reason for not squashing a burger during cooking. The more you squash, the more juice escapes. But wouldn't it be wise to start with a shape that’s conducive to eating? No doubt O’Sullivan’s burgers are big and juicy. A half pound of beef is used per burger, making it seem like a great value; but bigger isn’t always better, juicy isn’t always delicious, and value rarely equals excellence. For having so much juice, O’Sullivan’s burgers are surprisingly light on flavor. And because the patty is roundish, the burger is impossible to keep together, let alone eat. It’s just a big hunk of meat with condiments sliding from under the top bun while non-seasoned juices drench the bottom bun until it's a soggy mess. Which is exactly what happened to my Cheddar and Onion Sauce Burger. Halfway through, I gave up and ate the remaining shrapnel with a fork.

Plus, the restaurant smelled of fish when we entered.

Okay, I’m being overly critical, but hearing continual praise compels me to speak up. The emperor is wearing no clothes, people!

After finishing our burgers, Scott and I struck up a conversation with the couple sitting next to us. They’d seen The Phantom Gourmet segment earlier that morning and immediately drove up from Westport, MA to be a part of the scene. Sure enough, they had only accolades for the burgers they’d eaten. But wouldn’t they have felt foolish driving all that way for subpar burgers? Could it be that subconscious factors influenced their evaluation?  

As for me, I almost wished I'd stayed home and raked the leaves.

Score: 6.5 out of 10 napkins